Thursday, August 25, 2005
is first love the hardest to forget?
jx..rajab..wt..cl.. all tell me to go for the second chance. but i wldnt. cos it's a horrible feeling to be rejected by the one you love. and worse still, the one who loved you. notice i used "loved."
he told me once i'll get over it easily. yeah.. i thought that perhaps i'll get over it soon. you know. mix with other guys and forget abt it. i realised i cant at all. i don't know if it is because i didnt use all my heart to try, but i know i'll be too lazy and undetermined to forget him at all. or should i just say i don't wish to let go. keep trying so hard to let go, and hurt myself in the end. is it all worth the pain? it is all worth the pride? is it all worth the effort.. would we be better off being together? or better off searching the other half again? it's so hard. it's so easy to say i'll get over it de la.. but when time passed so long.. i realised he was a part of me i really cannot cannot erase away.. i cannot ignore it cos this pain is seeking my attention too much.. he once said.. now is not the time to talk about it.. then when? when he's at my funeral?
haiz. i cant substitute him for another guy. no way.. it's too precious to be replaced. sometimes i find myself smiling at the sweet memories we shared.. but end up feeling doubly sad when i realise it's not going to happen.. even if it is, the chance is too small..
haizz.. i'm just getting so depressed.. but i just recieved an sms from jeremy.. you know.. the little boy i taught tuition to? YAY~~~ he got full marks for his maths topical test.. fractions!!! i taught fractions until my mouth was damn dry la.. lecture non stop for 1.5 hours.. just to inculcate the concept of fractions into him.. haha it's difficult lor. haiz.. he sat for his chinese CA on wednesday.. so scared ar.. hope he'll do well.........
-when are you
coming back? ;
